lyttlebyrd: (mr humphries)
This journal is friends only. I am more than happy to add people back; I'm not unfriendly, just very private.
lyttlebyrd: (Default)
This is, word for word, the response I gave someone asking a question about open relationships and polyamory in a forum on Ravelry. I'm reposting it here for future reference. And I like how my answer turned out :)

My husband and I have been open since we met… I had a girlfriend at the time we met and I didn’t want to have to choose. He put it frankly “If you can have lovers on the side then I should be able to as well”. And I thought about it, and I felt ok with that. And we’ve been open even since, with the exception of when we were having our babies and I was dealing with the horrific depression that followed. It has run the gamut from one night stands (on his part) to long-term concurrent relationships (on both parts) to fun times in between. We have known each other 15 years and been married for 12 1/2. We have two kids, and they don’t seem to be harmed by the extra adults in their lives. They are too young to know any details, just that we have people in our lives who we love very, very much.

Currently, we are part of a foursome. I met my boyfriend nearly a year ago, and we got along like a house afire. I didn’t think I would get a chance to have a “forever” relationship even once, and I was shocked to discover that C was another forever person in my life. C and I kept saying that my husband had to meet C’s wife - we thought they could be good friends. They, also, got along like a house afire, and are together now. I guess what we have is a square - both women are with both men, but the men are not with each other, and the women are not with each other. They have a daughter who is older than our kids, and she loves the chance to be a big sister to them.

I love our life. I love knowing that there is someone who can satisfy my husband’s desires to be kinky, to be touched and held all the time, and who can relate to him on a level that I can’t. I love my boyfriend, and his sense of calm that he brings to me. My husband has Aspbergers, which can be a struggle to deal with, and being in a poly relationship helps with the immensely. There is someone else to siphon off some of his intense nature, and I have someone safe to go to when I need some down time. With my husband’s Aspbergers, he doesn’t get jealous. Quite literally. He doesn’t understand jealousy or why people get jealous. He understands that it happens, but that’s about it. I don’t get jealous of people - there is no one in the world who can offer my husband the exact thing I can offer, and I don’t worry about him leaving me. I do get jealous of time… Like when I am craving time with him but his FWB calls because she wants to talk about her schoolwork.

All in all, it works for us. I am not saying it’s perfect for everyone, and I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone. It takes a lot of soul searching, and (drumroll…) communication. If people aren’t talking about everything all of the time, then misunderstandings happen, and that is where problems creep in and feelings get hurt. If kids are involved, then there is extra stuff to worry about. We are not out in our community, because we want to protect our kids from some of the hurtful things that may come their way. We also choose not to be out to our immediate relatives - this is for many, many reasons.
lyttlebyrd: (Default)
Despite coming down with a light case of the plague, life is moving forward. Halloween was great. We went to a party at John and Becky's and the kids got to trick-or-treat a real neighborhood for the first time ever. I'm getting ready for a craft show at Beavercreek Elementary School on Saturday. I'm finally getting in to see Wendy and have her beat on me - that happens on Friday. Somehow, I find myself staring at Thanksgiving already. Not quite sure how that happened...
lyttlebyrd: (reality)
"Portland's a great place... it's where young people go to retire."

So, yesterday, a mom at the soccer game asked me how I was enjoying my retirement. I was a little taken aback - I'm still working, just not for a soul-deadening corporation.

A little background:
In mid-September, I gave my notice to Sue at Catherines. I truly have enjoyed working there. Most of the ladies were nice to work with, and when there we customers, they were mostly an allright sort. But it was tearing me in two to not be home with Jason in the evenings. To not go to soccer games and practices. To not tuck Daphne in to bed. And I wanted to sell my art, and do shows and bazaars every weekend leading up to Christmas. I've been saying since I was a wee child that I was going to be an artist when I grew up, and I figured it was time, at age 32, to prove to myself I could do it.

So Jason and I sat down, did some praying and thinking, and I put in my notice. My last day was October 1st. I took a deep breath, and stepped off the cliff. I've worked constantly since I was 16, taking a short break for college and two small breaks when I had the kids.

And now...
I've had my first bazaar of the season. I did very well - better than I expected, even. I was able to devote a lot of time and energy to seeing two members of my heart-family get married. I'm home almost every evening to tuck the kids in and cuddle with my husband. I've seen almost every soccer game this season and most of the practices. I'm improving my cooking skills and learning how to let myself run out of things in the pantry and cook through what I have. I spend anywhere between and hour and five on creative things every day, and have been improving my website. The traffic is up to my online studio, and I've had 3 sales this month. My soul is content. My heart has wings. And I'm happier than I've ever been.

I'm booked for the season now. With the exception of the weekend of the last soccer game, I have a bazaar every weekend between now and Christmas. I'm taking the weekend of the 12th off on purpose, so I can be there for the last game and the trophy party.

I'm the luckiest woman in the world.
lyttlebyrd: (Default)
First week of school is over and done. We are getting back into the swing of things easier this year. Jacob says he hasn't made up his mind yet whether Ms Krell is cool or not. But I know he's not thrilled about not being able to read books from home. Oh well.

My dad died 12 years ago tomorrow. I miss him both more and less... isn't that odd? I'm no longer in the habit of thinking of him as alive recently, and he's been gone for 1/3 of my life. I hate that his anniversary always gets swallowed up in the 9-11 stuff...

I'm hitting September with a lot less of my usual seasonal depression. There are still some tough anniversaries this time of year, but I'm doing pretty good. A general sadness around the tough days, and a light feeling of laziness and lethargy that is partly due to the heat. I figure there are a few reasons for the better year. No relatives from out of town, for one. The expansion of our chosen Family helps a lot, too. I'm feeling strong and healthy this year.

I'm looking forward to the wedding next month. I ordered D's dress but they sent the wrong one, so I am now waiting for the correct dress to show up. She says that Jacob should be in the wedding too, but that he needs a "taquito" to wear to it... She also says that when she has Germans on her hands, she needs to wash them. Damn those Germans! Hahah. I'm arting a bit, which is great. I finished Jenn and Lauran's thank yous, and I'm doing some art for a show right before their wedding.

I'm also trying to find new work. Ideally, I could quit working alltogether and just make and sell art, but the kids need to be fed...
lyttlebyrd: (reality)
There is a drone of a motor in the distant background. It's one of those lovely, long, lazy summer days where all I want is a tumbler of iced tea and a really long novely to read in the sun.

I have a craft show planned for a month and a half from now, which means I really should be making things and generally getting ready to sell, but I'm feeling too lazy for it right now. I'm sunburned from Pirate Fest yesterday - not sunburned enough to be really uncomfortable. Just enough to feel a little prickly and itchy.

Our big excitement was losing Daphne in the crowd. Chris had stopped to buy a hat and everyone thought D was with someone else. When I finally realized she was nowhere near, she was really and truly gone. It was terrifying. The men wandered the fair looking for her, and I kind of walked around helpless and dazed hoping she would magically show up. I stopped an event staff person who was driving a golf cart around and he said she was found and at the info tent at the main entrance. Relief flooded over me. I picked up my baby girl in her bright pink princess dress and held her and cried and she cried. Someone spoke into a walkie-talkie "mom's been found" and I just held my girl. Jason showed up next and held us both... then Chris and Wendy and the big kids. I was once again surrounded by my family; everyone was safe and whole, and I could breathe again. We queued up for shaved ice; the crisis was adverted. But I still felt shaky, and I leaned on Jacob for support. Chris held one arm and Jason held the other. I was surrounded by my men, and that helped. Wendy and Ayla stood in front of us, and Daphne clung to Daddy's hand. It was like if we all remained in physical contact, no one would be lost ever again.

I wonder at the simplicity of it all. We gathered around after the Festival for carry-away pizza and Wendy's home made peach cobbler. The kids played in the water and played the wii while the grownups played Scrabble on our smartphones and watched the sun set through the haze from the mountain fires. Ayla crashed, hard, on our couch - as she is wont to do, and my kids asked for one more night in the tent before we tore it down for the summer. They settled in, full of pizza and ice cream, and we said quietly lingering goodbyes, all of us tired and more than a little sun-drunk.

Today, I washed Jacob's green back pack and hung it on the line. The office smells of the forest fire on the mountain and hot grass and sun baked blackberries. And, it smells like freshly sharpened pencils and new crayons, those items laying in wait for the back pack to dry. This year, I'm sending my little man into the 3rd grade. He'll be in with 4th graders; it's a split class this year, due to the decline in enrollment in our area. I wonder which families will be gone this year. Which friends are missing, which ones are still here? Jacob will be in with Sammy this year, I know that for certain. Tomorrow is the last day of summer, and a chance to spend time with other family - Jenn and Lauran - before the craziness of the school year starts. For 9 months, my son will belong to another woman, Ms. Krell, and I will have to get reacquainted with him on weekends and when June rolls around again, he will be another person again, his mind opened up to newer and bigger worlds.

I love the months in between school years, when my kids are my own, and I am still steering their adventures.

My ducklings are growing up, wandering off, and testing their wings.

It's been a good summer.
lyttlebyrd: (reality)
Phoo. I'm always saying I will write more. Then I write really well for about 3 entries, and then I ignore my journal for several weeks.

So today, you get bullet points.

-Jacob starts 3rd grade on Tuesday. He's in a mixed 3rd/4th class and Sammy and Jackson are in class with him. Soccer started on Tuesday.

-Lil D is officially potty trained *happy dance*! We are approaching functional human :)

-Pirate Fest is tomorrow. After slaving for weeks on J's "link" costume, he doesn't want to wear it anymore. I think I might make him walk the plank on this one. Chris can follow him into the drink, for being the wise-ass who suggested that Jacob would make a good Link. D has a sparkle pink satin dress with about eleventy-billion yards of pink and purple tulle in the skirt. She is thrilled with it!

-Daphne will be Jenn's flower girl, and I think she will be adorable. Her dress has a burgundy bodice and a white tulle skirt with burgundry ribbon at the bottom. Jenn and I spent a day a few weeks ago ordering cake stuff, which is currently in residence at Jenn's house. And I finished her "thank you" cards, so now I can focus on some Christmas-ey stuff for if I do any shows this year.

-Work has been going through a cycle of pushing credit apps that has almost all of us ready to quit. I've actually put in an application at Craft Warehouse, which I think would be a good fit for me. I'd really like to get back with creative people.

-Everything is going swimmingly with Chris and me and Jason and Wendy. We are hoping to take some group vacations together next summer, and we usually see each other once or twice a week. When they were gone all last week, they were out of cell service range and I really missed them both.

-I'm headed into September, which is usually a bad month for my depression. But I'm feeling better and stronger than I have in years past, and I am taking vitamin D, which seems to be improving my mood all around. I'm at the odd time where Jacob is starting school, so I know I will miss him terribly, but I am also craving my alone time, which I do not get a whole lot of when both kids are around. I am looking forward to when Daphne starts school and I can move into working days and be home with my family in the evening.
lyttlebyrd: (reality)
Happy birthday to me! It's been a really wonderful day. 40 well-wishes on my Facebook - and counting. A nice walk with the kids this morning and the first of the season blackberries with our lunch. I spent the afternoon snuggled with the kids, watching Loony Tunes and Tom and Jerry. Jason arranged sitting for the kids with my mom and he and Chris took me out for dinner at Boccelli's. This was a nice excuse to wear my pretty white sundress, which is too dressy for most occasions. I had a nice pasta dinner with my two favorite men, and then we went for a walk in the park in Gresham and I got to walk and hold hands with them both and feel very, very loved.

When we dropped Chris off, Jason went downstairs to say hi to Wendy and I got some snuggles from Chris. He told me that even though it's my birthday, he feels like he's the one that got a present, since he gets to know me and be part of my life...

I feel overwhelmed with love right now. It's been an awesome birthday!
lyttlebyrd: (reality)

This, my friends, captures precisely what I love about living in the country.

Taken from the top of Carrie's field (where Greg has his track), facing South.  Her field, our field, our yard and house.  Tracks in the snow from where the kids sledded and made snowmen.  A long country lane.  Protected greenspace to the East.  Snowy trees.  And gorgeous clouds....

I love my life.
lyttlebyrd: (Default)

There are now no more babies in my house. Unless someone brings one over. But no babies live here.

D turned two yesterday. We had a small party with family and friends. There was the requisite cake and ice cream and pizza and balloons and small children running amok. At the end of the day, she still went to bed with Giraffe (friends of ours know Giraffe well), her best friend since babyhood, she still needed milk and string cheese and snuggles before she could sleep. But she's a toddler now, full of words and ideas and jokes... She runs and plays soccer and Lego with her brother. She loves Spongebob and Dora. Her favorite foods are scrambled eggs, string cheese, yogurt, and strawberries. She has more words than I can list here. She blows kisses and hugs, dances to Christmas music, and plays Mama to her baby doll (for which she got a stroller for her birthday). She helps me in the kitchen, clears her place at the table when she is done eating, and remembers to say thank you but not always please. She is Daddy's sweet princess and brother's comrade in arms. She is sweet and stubborn and funny, and she and her brother are my world. They are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love them more than I ever dreamed I could love.

hanging out with memom and papa, before everyone showed up
silly Papa!
picture time with Memom
a couch full of children!
My favorite is the one on the right, I love that look of concentration!
mmmm.... cake!
playing with Aunt Jenn and the new toy dishes
What's the first thing you want to put in the doll stroller? Why, the cat, of course!! Dingo stayed in there for several minutes, actually. I think he enjoyed the ride - of course he's the lazier of the cats.
lyttlebyrd: (fog)

Pumpkin patch pics....
Read more... )
lyttlebyrd: (heart you)

Posted via

Daphne and grandma Peg, waiting for the Portland Spirit brunch cruise.

pic 6

Aug. 13th, 2009 09:57 pm
lyttlebyrd: (moo)

The evil dragon shirt

Posted via

Pic 5

Aug. 12th, 2009 09:01 am
lyttlebyrd: (Default)

I have the most beautiful kids in the world!

Posted via

lyttlebyrd: (Default)

My ladybug right after i had it done a few weeks ago. Running a test to see how the lj iphone app works :)

lyttlebyrd: (fog)
Dorothy died today.  I will miss her greatly.
lyttlebyrd: (Default)
 from the driveway
 up our private drive
  house from the street
  downtown Damascus a tree in our field

 our neighbor's house,note the half buried Christmas lights
 Abbey walking up the drive


lyttlebyrd: (Default)

January 2012

8910 11121314


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 22nd, 2017 06:50 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios